31 May Forgiveness
Journey of motherhood can be bittersweet. Mothers have to be multitasking – comforting the little one(s), planning for meal, giving instructions (through texting or other forms of communication), etc. Watching her face lit with joy for every little thing she’s happy with is worth every effort.
I am a mother of one who does Young Living for business. I started using Young Living on Feb 2013 to support my girl’s immune system. End 2013, through my sharing, few friends were interested to join, hence I soon became involved deeper in the business side of Young Living. I love this job – money aside – a SAHM with passion for natural way of well-being. I believe that passion is the most important factor in holding on to one’s job. I held no passion for my previous work as research engineer. When I decided to quit with my husband’s blessing, I don’t have any regret forgoing the monthly earning (though my husband will lament once a while). I chose to follow my husband for his frequent business trip. I became a SAHM more than a year later.
However, it could be overwhelming with many messages I need to reply versus the toddler TRIES to get attention versus the meal preparation versus other stuff. I am a person who like to set targets for myself. THIS needs to be done by afternoon and THAT needs to be done by today and many other stuff I set myself to accomplish. If I could not accomplish the tasks I set before hand, I would feel guilty. Guilt leads to grouchy and moody mom, and it will create the gloom in the house. Afterwards, I will feel guilty of making such environment and try to be better. But when I fail to accomplish the many tasks waiting ahead, it’s back to being moody again. It’s a vicious cycle. One I need to break because I know it’s not healthy!
It started few months back. My wonderful upline, Faith Teo (I CAN’T THANK YOU ENOUGH for being there with me) asked her amazing upline, Jacq Ong, to coach me. There, I realized, I have been holding on to many things. I need to let go. I need to learn to forgive myself for being imperfect because no human is perfect. I started to unshackle myself from some mundane stuff. First thing I did was NO handphone at the side of the bed. By doing this, it will not be the phone that I reach first thing in the morning and last thing at night. It IS my family. Morning starts and night ends with cuddling w loved ones.
Second thing, I allow myself to take a break! As Jacq said, when you come back from a break, you would feel refreshed. I will not allow myself to feel guilty because that’s not the way it’s supposed to be. After a break, I can dedicate myself to my family and business more efficiently. I can feel my burdens slowly lifted. It’s not fully unloaded yet, but I am learning along the way.
Once, a friend sent us this message. A good mom is someone who is happy and content, someone who accepts herself fully and someone who is happy taking care of her family without prejudiced that she’s doing it well and the rightest mom. How TRUE it is!
If I, a mother of one can feel such guilt, how about mothers of two, three, four, or more? Or individuals who aim for perfection but sometimes fail? I am sure the guilt might be increasing exponentially when the emotions run high.
So I send this message to all moms and every human beings “Take a break and don’t feel guilty.” You are doing wonderfully! No one will be able to fill your role in your family.
It’s alright to falter, to fail, to confide to your partner or your trusted friends or family about your weaknesses. Don’t hold up everything inside because it can be tiring. The pent up emotions will burn yourself in the long run. A great start to emotional healing is to use Forgiveness. Forgive yourself first before you can forgive others. The “container” needs to be empty to be able to hold other more important things. Love yourself first before you can fully love others. Transform yourself and be Grateful.
I am grateful for my husband who knows that sometimes, I just want to be moody and still he accepts that. He knows I need a break and he will take care of our girl while I recharge myself outside the housework. He will help little by little and I only realize that I miss his doings while he’s away on his business trip. So yes, the coaching from Jacq as well as the oils help me to realize what has been going on in the past 3 years. Without that, my point of view is just straight ahead without taking a look sideways where some things may be as worth doing.
p.s. I still haven’t done homework from Jacq, but I am sure she will say, “Hey, Deny, don’t worry! Take your time.” For that, I thank you. Now, let me browse my online shopping first…
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